South Park Stick of Truth Trophy Guide

My Time for Platinum: 25 Hours
Difficulty: 4/10
Trophies: 51 (1 Platinum, 3 Gold, 5 Silver, 42 Bronze)
Missable Trophies: 24 (Two of which aren't technically missable, see below for details)
Online Trophies: None
Number of Playthroughs: 1
Format: PS3 / PS4
Glitches Encountered: 1 (Truth to Power, see individual trophy description for more details.)

Trophy
Guide

Trophy Guide Overview

The platinum for this game can be obtained in a single play through. As long as you are aware of the missable trophies and collectibles, constantly making manual saves is imperative as well. Firstly, I will list the missable trophies:

KKK Hero (from a one play through point of view)
Elven Hero (from a one play though point of view)
Gingivitis
Day Walker
Inside Joke
Parkeologist
For the Hoarder
Face Hoff
Truth to Power
Irritable Bowels
Acceptance
Dragon Wrath
Two Girls, One Stick
Re-Buttal
Heisenberg
Outpatient
Perverted
No Child Left Behind
Chinpokolypse
More Popular Than John Lennon
Clothes Whore
Too Far
Mastery
Full Arsenal

Missable collectible/trophy set-by-step guide

For tips on how not to miss certain trophies, see their individual descriptions. I have written a missable collectible/trophy step-by-step guide, to see that click HERE. This will highlight where to save, so you don't miss certain trophies and also which collectibles to look out for as you play through the main story. The reason a lot of collectibles are missable, is because you only pass through certain areas of the game once. Also, once you have completed the story, The Giggling Donkey (Jimmy's House) and the government base become locked out, along with that, the Nazi zombies disappear.

There are two trophies that aren't technically missable, but from a one play through stand point, they are. These are 'KKK Hero' and 'Elven Hero', you can only get one of these per play through, unless you make a manual save just before you decide who you are going to fight, Kyle or Cartman. Then you can choose one, defeat them, and reload the save to defeat the other one.

There is only one trophy that pertains to which class you choose, 'Are We Cool?', you need to choose Jew class to be able to get this trophy. If you don't want to be a Jew, then that's fine, you can do it in a separate play through. This is because the opportunity to get this trophy happens very early on in the game.

There are a couple of trophies that you need to watch out for across the whole play through, that don't involve finding or collecting anything. They are 'No Child Left Behind' and 'For the Hoarder'. These are for finishing the game without having a buddy knocked out at the end of any fight, and for not selling a single item until you have finished the story, respectively.

I'm not going to go into to much detail, so that I don't spoil the story in this overview. If you want to read up on certain trophies, please see their individual descriptions, or alternatively you can use my step-by-step missable collectible/trophy guide, by clicking HERE, be warned it's full of spoilers.

The Order Which I Unlocked the Trophies

01 - Acceptance - Missable. I unlocked this during the first time I spoke to Cartman, it can only be gotten at this point.
02 - Made This for You - I unlocked this during my first out of tutorial fight.
03 - Are We Cool? - I unlocked this during the side quest 'Find Jesus'.
04 - Poco Chinpoko - This unlocked after I found my fifth Chinpokomon.
05 - Heisenberg - Missable. I unlocked this during the main quest 'Hot Coffee', which is part of 'Call the Banners', it can only be gotten during this quest.
06 - Shutout - I unlocked this once I manage to successfully block every enemy attack, during a single fight.
07 - Gingivitis - Missable. I unlocked this during main quest 'Detention Sentence', which is part of 'Call the Banners', it can only be gotten during this quest.
08 - Daywalker - Missable. I unlocked this during main quest 'Detention Sentence', which is part of 'Call the Banners', it can only be gotten during this quest.
09 - Skilled Defender - This one unlocked for me once I had successfully blocked 100 attacks.
10 - Stay Down - This unlocked once I had farted on ten downed enemies.
11 - Irritable Bowels - Missable. I got this in the boss battle against Jimmy.
12 - Weapon Proficiency - This unlocked once I for once I had scored 100 perfect attacks.
13 - New Kid on the Block - Story related. I unlocked this after completing the quest 'The Bard'.
14 - First Day in South Park - Story related. I unlocked this whilst going to sleep, after completing the quest 'Alien Abduction'.
15 - Mastery - Missable. I unlocked this once I had fully upgraded one of my abilities, once I had reached level six.
16 - Pulling Mud - This unlocked once I had sh*t myself three times during a fight.
17 - Parkeologist - Missable. This unlocked once I had opened all the garages in the game.
18 - Nonconformist - Story related. I unlocked this once I had completed the quest 'Nonconformist'.
19 - Dragon Wrath - Missable. I unlocked this during the quest 'Attack the School', this is the best quest to get it on.
20 - Elven Hero - Story related, yet missable. See trophy description for more details. I unlocked it at the of the quest 'Attack the School'.
21 - KKK Hero - Story related, yet missable. See trophy description for more details. I unlocked it at the of the quest 'Attack the School'.
22 - Re-Buttal - Missable. I unlocked this trophy during the quest 'Defeat the Underpants Gnomes', this is the best quest to get it on.
23 - Perverted - Missable. I unlocked this trophy during the quest 'Defeat the Underpants Gnomes', this is the only quest to get it on.
24 - Daddy Issues - I unlocked this after making 50 other friends, then going to see my dad.
25 - Just Saying Hi - I unlocked this during the quest 'Forging Alliances', after farting on all my buddies.
26 - Chinpoko Loco - This unlocked after I had collected 15 Chinpokomon.
27 - Ass of Fire - I unlocked this after defeating 20 enemies using Cartman's Burnin' Cloud attack.
28 - More Popular Than Jesus - I unlocked this after making 60 friends.
29 - Canadian Handshake - This unlocked after I farted on my 100th person.
30 - Too Far - Missable. This unlocked during the quest 'Unplanned Parenthood', this is the only quest you can get this.
31 - Truth to Power - Missable. I unlocked this just after the quest 'O Canada', after farting on all four major authority figures.
32 - Shopoholic - This unlocked once I had collected half the clothes sets.
33 - Inside Joke - Missable. This unlocked during the quest 'Beat Up Clyde', this is the only quest you can unlock this.
34 - Face Hoff - Missable. This unlocked after I completed the main story, after defeating Princess Kenny, whilst looking like David Hasselhoff.
35 - Two Girls, One Stick - Missable. This unlocked after I completed the main story, after defeating Princess Kenny, whilst wearing your makeover disguise.
36 - Outpatient - Missable. This unlocked after I completed the main story, after defeating Princess Kenny with Dire Aids.
37 - For the Hoarder - Missable. This unlocked after I completed the main story, without selling anything.
38 - No Child Left Behind - Missable. This unlocked after I completed the main story, without having a buddy downed at the end of a fight.
39 - Stick Saviour - Story Related. This unlocked once I completed the main story.
40 - Junk Peddler - This unlocked once I sold 300 pieces of junk, which happened post game.
41 - Make It Rain - This unlocked once I had spent $500 cumulatively, which happened post game.
42 - Friends in Strange Places - I unlocked this post game, once I had befriended the Underpants Gnome and Crab Person.
43 - Avenger - I unlocked this post game, after defeating three enemies, while my buddy was downed.
44 - Dog Whistle - I unlocked this post game, after farting on a dog, whilst in gnome form.
45 - Clothes Whore - Missable. This unlocked after I had collected all of the costumes.
46 - Full Arsenal - Missable. This unlocked after I had collected all weapons and costumes.
47 - Chinpokolypse - Missable. This unlocked after I had collected all of the Chinpokomon.
48 - Animal Cruelty - I unlocked this after farting on 25 animals.
49 - More Popular Than John Lennon - Missable. This unlocked, once I had befriended everyone in the town.
50 - You Bastards - I unlocked once I managed to kill Kenny ten times during combat, post game.
51 - South Park: The Stick of Truth Platinum Trophy - Platinum, unlocked once I had collected the rest of the trophies.

South Park: The Stick of Truth Platinum Trophy

Collected all South Park: The Stick of Truth trophies.

As with all platinum trophies this will unlock once you have collected the rest.

New Kid On The Block

You have joined the KKK

Story related and can't be missed.

You will get this trophy after you defeat Jimmy (The Bard), and return to Kupa Keep during the quest 'Call the Banners'.

First Day in South Park

You completed your first day in South Park.

Story related and can't be missed.

You will get this trophy after you escape from the UFO, during the quest 'Alien Abduction'.

KKK Hero

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

Secret Trophy

Story related, yet missable from a single play through perspective.

This trophy is technically not missable, as it is story related during the quest 'Attack the School'. To get both 'KKK Hero' and 'Elven Hero' in one play through, you will need to make a manual save just before entering the fourth grade classroom. Once you've done that go through the door and choose to fight Kyle. Once he's defeated the trophy will pop, meaning you can load your game and get 'Elven Hero'.

Elven Hero

You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.

Secret Trophy

Story related, yet missable from a single play through perspective.

This trophy is technically not missable, as it is story related during the quest 'Attack the School'. To get both 'KKK Hero' and 'Elven Hero' in one play through, you will need to make a manual save just before entering the fourth grade classroom. Once you've done that go through the door and choose to fight Cartman. Once he's defeated the trophy will pop, meaning you can load your game and get 'KKK Hero'.

Nonconformist

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

Secret Trophy

Story related and can't be missed.

You will get this trophy after befriending the Goths during the quest 'Nonconformist'.

Gingivitis

Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.

MISSABLE

This trophy can only be done during the quest 'Detention Sentence', when you are trying to rescue Craig from detention. This is because this is the only time you fight ginger kids/hall monitors. Make a manual save before you enter the school. I would advise bringing a lot of health and cure potions.

What you need to do, is when you are fighting a ginger kid, wait for him to do a 'Ginger Bite' attack and don't block it. These attacks are completely random, so you may need a few fights to get this. You don't need to get bitten all three times in one fight. Also it doesn't need to be your character that gets bitten, it can be your buddy, they both count.

I got bitten twice during the first fight, then once during the boss fight against the boss hall monitor. To increase your chances, try to lengthen the fights by blocking anything that isn't a 'ginger bite'. Also, try to inflict minimal damage in return. You do this by missing your flashing cues.

If you run out of gingers and finish the quest, you can just revert to the aforementioned manual save, and give it another go.

Day Walker

You defeated the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.

MISSABLE

This trophy can only be done during the quest 'Detention Sentence', when you are trying to rescue Craig from detention. This is because this is the only time you fight the Boss Hall Monitor. Make a manual save before you enter the school, which you should already be doing if you're going for 'Gingivitis'.

As you are fighting your way through the school, check every knocked out ginger kid and locker. You should eventually find 'Ginger Freckles', as soon as you do equip them. This is so don't forget to equip them before fighting the Boss Hall Monitor. Once you reach him, you'll know which one he is, the game makes it quite obvious, simply defeat him as usual. The trophy should pop shortly after you win.

If for some reason you don't find any 'Ginger Freckles' before reaching the Boss Hall Monitor, you can just revert to the aforementioned manual save, and give it another go.

Made This for You

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

This was one of the first trophies that I unlocked. Once I first gained control of my character, I went out of the bedroom and into the bathroom of my house. Walked up to the toilet, pressed X to initiate the pooping mini-game, and began pooping. I would like to stress that this trophy can be got at any point during the game, there is a toilet in most of the houses around South Park, that you can use.

Anyway, you play the mini-game by mashing X, trying to get the bar to the top, you have to be quite quick here, as you don't get much time at all. If you fail you can try again instantly as many times as you like. Once you're successful, turn around and pick the poo out of the toilet, by 'taking' the shit nugget. It will be stored in your inventory, ready for battle.

You will need to engage a fight with your shit nugget in your inventory. To use it, go to useable items on the left of the wheel, scroll down to shit nugget and choose any enemy to throw it at for an instant 'gross out', obviously.

You will find shit nuggets later in the game in the sewer, as far as I am aware, those ones won't count. This is because it needs to be 'of your own creation', as the trophy says.

Inside Joke

While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave.

Secret Trophy

MISSABLE

This trophy is missable for three reasons. It can only be done during the final story quest, you need to have unlocked the 'summon Mr. Slave' ability, and finally you need to have not summoned Mr. Slave for at least 24 hours, so that he is available during the final quest.

First off, let's unlock the 'summon Mr. Slave' ability. Don't forget this needs to be done before you start the final quest, the one after returning from Canada. To do so, you need to fetch his parcel from the Post Office, and bring it to him. You don't need to talk to Mr. Slave first to initiate the quest, you can just go straight to the Post Office. Walk behind the counter of the Post Office, to the the pile of packages on the back wall, and take the vibrating one. Now head to Mr. Slave's house. It's marked on the map now. Go inside, talk to him, he'll become your friend, and let you summon him during a fight.

During the last quest, you will go inside Mr. Slave. Make sure you haven't summoned him for at least 24 hours, real time, or you won't be able to get this. Once inside him, pick a fight with one of the Nazi zombie bacteria. It needs to be done against this type of enemy, because you can't 'summon' during a boss battle. During the fight, simply summon Mr. Slave, and the trophy is yours.

Are We Cool?

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.

First of all, this trophy can only be unlocked if you picked 'Jew', as your class. I knew about this trophy before I started playing, so from a single play through perspective, I picked Jew as my class. Don't worry if you don't want to pick Jew as your class, you can start a separate play though, and get this trophy in about half an hour.

To unlock this trophy, you need actually need to find Jesus twice. To start with you need to talk to Priest Maxi, who is sat on a bench outside the Town Hall, slightly to the left. He will task you with 'Finding Jesus'. To do this head left to the church. Once you enter, you'll spot Jesus quite easily, he's hid behind a pew to the right. Once you've interacted with him, head back to Priest Maxi. He'll tell you to find Jesus again. He is in the church still, but a little more difficult to spot his time. Start by turning off the lights, the switch is on the back wall next to the door on the right. Next, move the two lamps in the middle of the room to face the pulpit. This should cast a Jesus shaped shadow on the back wall, exposing him. Simply walk round, press X to interact and you've found Jesus.

Parkeologist

You opened all of the garages in South Park.

MISSABLE

There is only one garage that is missable, and that is Jimmy's. This is because you need a key to open it, which is in Jimmy's house, but that becomes locked out once you complete the game. Most garages are unlocked, but a few need keys. Most of the houses are on the same street, expect for three. I've made a quick list of the 15 garages that you need to open below. The list goes from left to right, along the main street of houses, which is on the bottom of the map. Then I mention where the other three are.

9770 - Light green house - No key needed.
Kevin's - Purple house - No key needed.
1010 - Light brown house - No key needed.
2210 - Dark brown house - No key needed.
1890 - Orange house - No key needed.
Jimmy's - Purple House - The only missable garage. The key is inside Jimmy's house (The Giggling Donkey), upstairs in a drawer. You need to get this before starting the final quest.
Yours - Red House - No key needed.
Butters' - Brown house - The key is inside the house, upstairs in his parent's room. In one of the drawers.
Cartman's - Light green house - The key is in the drawer as soon as you enter his house.
Stan's - Dark green house - No key needed.
Kyle's - Grey house - The key is inside the house, upstairs in his parent's room. In one of the drawers.
Kenny's - Damaged green house - Kenny's house is on the wrong side side of the tracks, the key is story related, you have to clear out the garage fairly early in the game.
Mr. Slave's - Red house - Mr. Slave's house is just right of the kid's playground. No key needed.
1018 - Blue house - Next door to Mr. Slave's house. No key needed.
Token's - Gated off mansion - Token's house is right of the Mall, at the top of the map. You will need to get past the guard as part of the story, to do so you will need the gas mask from Jimbo's Guns. No key needed.

For the Hoarder

You completed the game without selling any items.

MISSABLE

Not much to say about this trophy really, apart from don't sell anything until you have finished the main story and received the trophy. After which, you can sell as much as you like so you can get other trophies and collectibles.

Face Hoff

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

Secret Trophy

MISSABLE

This is one of three stackable trophies that pertains to your fight with Princess Kenny. All three trophies 'Face Hoff', 'Two Girls, One Stick', and 'Outpatient', can be unlocked at the same time. So I would advise making a manual save before attempting the last quest 'Beat Up Clyde', this is just in case anything goes wrong for some reason.

For this particular trophy, you need to look like David Hasselhoff as you defeat Princess Kenny. To do that, you need to visit Tom's Rhinoplasty after making the aforementioned save, but before starting the quest 'Beat Up Clyde'. Once in Tom's Rhinoplasty, you need to choose to have 'The Hoff', which is a nose job. It costs $175, instead of just having his nose, you'll have his whole face like the trophy image. Now, simply complete the final quest as usual. The trophy should unlock during the final cutscene.

Truth to Power

You farted on four major authority figures.

MISSABLE

There are four specific people you need to fart for this trophy, one of which is missable, The Minister of Montreal. Below is a lis of the four, and their locations.

Priest Maxi - He is sat on a bench outside the town hall.
Mayor McDaniels - She is sat behind her desk in the town hall.
Principal Victoria - She is in the community centre, blonde hair, pink top.
Minister of Montreal - This one is missable, as you only see him once throughout the whole game. Obviously, he's in Canada. You will be tasked with trying to find him, this is during the quest, 'O Canada' part of 'Forging Alliances'. You will learn need to learn the Nagasaki fart from Terrance and Phillip, after that head to the caves above Ottawa. Once past the boulder, you'll fight many dire animals, defeat them. This is now the only point you can fart on him, as he stands at bottom of the cave. If you talk to him, he'll disappear forever. I made a save here in case anything went wrong.

Possible Glitch: A quick tip is to fart on each person a couple of times each with Dragonshout and Cup-A-Spell. I mention this because I didn't get the trophy after farting on the minister, although I had definitely already farted on the other three. Once I left Canada, I returned to Mayor McDaniels, farted on her again, then the trophy unlocked.

Irritable Bowels

You shat your pants during a boss battle.

MISSABLE

This trophy is easily missed if you're not aware of it, this is because it is not something you would try and do during normal play. Also, there are no boss battles post game. I got this trophy fighting Jimmy, I forgot about it fighting the hall monitor boss, or I would have got it sooner.

Firstly, to make it easier, stock up on mana potions, a couple of large ones will do the trick, but it won't hurt to have a few small ones as well. You can buy them from most merchants in the game. What your supposed to do is eat mana potions during a fight, and they'll fill up your mana bar, allowing you to use spells (farts). If you eat too much, your mana bar will over fill, and you'll shit yourself. If you do this, you'll lose all of your mana, so it's not advisable. Simply do this during a boss fight, and the trophy will unlock.

This of course will count as one of three needed for the 'Pulling Mud' trophy.

Acceptance

You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.

Secret Trophy

MISSABLE

This will probably be the first trophy that you unlock. When you first visit Kupa Keep, you'll talk to Cartman. During the conversation, he'll ask you what your name is. A keyboard will pop up, allowing you to enter whatever you like, which will be in vain, hence the title of the trophy. You will be asked to confirm your name as Douchebag instead. Press yes both times, and this will unlock the trophy.

If you do miss this for whatever reason, you can start a new game and unlock it, as it happens right at the beginning of the game.

Dog Whistle

You've farted on a dog while in gnome form.

This trophy can't be unlocked whilst there are Nazi zombies around South Park. I got this trophy post game, which is probably the best time to get it.

Once the story has finished, visit the Lost Forest. There will be stray dogs wandering around. Shrink down to gnome form, and fart on one of the dogs, that's all there is to it really. I would advise using Cup-A-Spell from a distance, this is because if you get too close the dogs will attack you.

Dragon Wrath

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.

MISSABLE

This is missable because there really aren't that many opportunities to get it, this may actually be the only way to get it.

The point in the story you need to get to is during the siege on the school, when you're trying to reclaim the Stick of Truth. Once you exit the kitchen, you'll enter the dining room, from there head left, you'll eventually reach a barrier. You'll know you're at the right one, it it will says "Humans keep out" on the main board blocking the way. Stood behind it will be three enemies, just the amount you need. Make a manual save at this point, in case anything goes wrong.

Cup-A-Spell the torch on the left-hand side of the board, the side that the H,K & O of 'Humans Keep out" are on. It should destroy that side of the board only. After that, enter the vent under the Cows sign. Anal probe up to the top part, stand in front of the vent above the enemies, but don't exit, not that I think you can. Next you want to get the three enemies near the last remaining torch, do this by throwing Sneaky Squeakers near it from the upper vent. Once all three are near the torch, let off a Cup-A-Spell towards the torch from the upper vent still. This should take out all three enemies, and net you the trophy. If not, reload the manual save, and try again.

Two Girls, One Stick

You defeated Princess Kenny in your girl makeover disguise.

Body - Makeover Outfit
Hands - Makeover Accessory
Hair - Makeover Wig
Makeup - Makeover Makeup

As long as you have these for items equipped during your fight with Princess Kenny, you shouldn't have any problems. I would advise equipping them, before starting the quest 'Beat Up Clyde'. This trophy will unlock during the final cutscene.

Just Saying Hi

You've farted on every buddy in the game.

You have six buddies in the game:

Butters
Princess Kenny
Jimmy
Stan
Kyle
Cartman

By buddy this game means your currently selected partner. You can't just fart on, say, Cartman at the beginning of the game, that won't count. The earliest you can lock this trophy is during the quest 'Forging Alliances'. You will have unlocked all six buddies at this point. Simply, select each one in turn and fart on them.

Re-Buttal

You interrupted 5 channel attacks by using a fart.

MISSABLE

Firstly, a channel attack is when an enemy steps forward, doesn't attack but an aura appears around them, with the word, you guessed it, Channeling appearing above them. This happens quite rarely in normal combat, probably less than five times throughout the game. There is one section in the game where is happens a lot in two fights, if you let it.

Make a save after before going to bed for the second time, after defeating Kyle, Cartman or both. At this point you want to be stock up on mana potions, you'll be doing a lot of farting.

Once you're ready go to sleep, and the underpants gnomes will show up. You will fight them twice, so eight gnomes in total. Two of which, don't do channel attacks, one from each fight, so six possible targets. Don't worry though, they do it a lot.

The first fight is easy, as the can only inflict a maximum of 2HP of damage to you per attack. So, you'll be waiting for each one of three possible targets to channel. The forth one, the gnome on the bottom right won't ever channel so dispose of him however. Eat plenty of mana potions so your mana is full, mind not to poop yourself though. When a gnome channels, hit him with a Dragonshout, in this first fight it will knock him out, so there is only a chance of you getting three interruptions.

The second fight is a standard fight, they can hurt you as normal. Quite a lot I might add. The non-channeling gnome is the one top right one this time, so aim at him with ranged weapons, whilst waiting for the others to channel. You can interrupt a gnome multiple this time as well. Once you get two more, the trophy should unlock. If not reload your save and try again, but you shouldn't have any problems.

Also, if you die, you will need to do both fights again. So, you need to get three interrupts in the first fight again. They aren't cumulative.

Heisenberg

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.

MISSABLE

This trophy is missable because you only get to fight the Meth tweekers once, it's part of a story quest. It is near the beginning of the game though. You will want to make a manual save, just before starting the 'Hot Coffee' quest which is part of 'Call of the Banners'.

Now to find the two items you need, Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap. The goatee is probably one of the first items you'll find, and you may already have it. It's in the drawer just as you enter Cartman's House. The bald cap on the other hand is a little more complicted. You need to break Romper Stomper out of jail.

Head to the Police Station, then into the holding cells area, which is left and through the door on the ground floor. To break him out you need the jail cell key, this is in the locker upstairs. Upstairs, the door to left, which you need to go through is locked. If you look up the right-hand side of the shelf will be sparkling, use a ranged weapon on it to drop it down. Head through the vent into the next room, go down the ladder and check the lockers. Once you have the key head downstairs and free Romper Stomper. The bald cap is actually in the bag, which is in the cell that was holding Romper Stomper.

Now that you have both items, equip them and continue on with the quest. You'll be collecting a delivery from Kenny's house for tweek. Simply enter Kenny's garage, after obtaining the key from Kenny's mother, and defeat the two tweekers with your newly equipped items. Any problems, reload the save you made before and try again.

Outpatient

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

Secret Trophy

MISSABLE

This is one of three stackable trophies that pertains to your fight with Princess Kenny. All three trophies 'Face Hoff', 'Two Girls, One Stick', and 'Outpatient', can be unlocked at the same time. So I would advise making a manual save before attempting the last quest 'Beat Up Clyde', this is just in case anything goes wrong for some reason.

For this trophy you need to contract Dire AIDS from a snake in Canada, then fight Princess Kenny. You may contract Dire AIDS by accident whilst in Canada, I did. If not, you get it from being bitten whilst fighting a snake. You'll see them slithering around the main map Canada, just initiate a fight and wait to get bitten. Dire Aids doesn't go away, it needs to be cured. This is done by visiting the medic in Ottawa, but you don't want to, obviously.

Once you're all AIDS up, carry on with the final quest and defeat Princess Kenny. This trophy will unlock during the final cutscene.

Perverted

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

Secret Trophy

MISSABLE

This trophy can only be unlocked during the quest 'Defeat the Underpants Gnomes', which is a night quest and is played out once you go to sleep for the second time.

You'll enter the cavity wall in your room, and after fighting some rats, will eventually exit it into your parents' room. You'll find yourself on their dresser, with them having sex in front of you. Simply stand there for 60 seconds without moving at all, and the trophy will unlock.

Shutout

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

What you have to do is successfully block every enemy attack within a single fight. The blocking system is very simple in this game, when an enemy goes to attack you a silver disc like entity will appear under your character, that's when you want to hit X to block the attack. It will take you a few fights to get the timing down, but once you realise how the blocking system, you'll more than likely unlock this naturally through normal play.

Stay Down

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.

They don't get much simpler than this trophy. Once you have finished a fight with an enemy, their body will still be lying on the floor for you to loot. Using either Dragonshout or Cup-A-Spell, fart on the downed foe. They will move slightly, this is how you know it has counted. It does however, need to be done on ten separate enemies. This shouldn't be an issue as there are many, many enemies throughout the game.

Avenger

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

I would advise doing this trophy post game. This is because it could mess up your progress with 'No Child Left Behind' quite easily.

Once you've finished the main story, enter the Lost Forest. You'll want to look out for a pack of three dogs, once you have, let them initiate the fight. With any luck they'll attack your buddy, and down him. If not, just go through the motions until he is downed. Once he's lying there, you can fight as normal or you can call a super power in like Jesus, or Mr. Slave. They'll wipe everyone out and you'll get the trophy.

No Child Left Behind

You competed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.

MISSABLE

You should be saving quite often in this game, and this trophy is one of the reasons why. Also, make sure you are constantly stocked up with revive potions.

Your buddy is the character that enters fights with you. They can't be knocked out once the fight finishes. They can however get knocked down during a fight, just as long as you revive them using a revive potion, before the fight ends, you'll be fine, that doesn't count. You can accidentally win fights because of elemental damage to the enemy, bleeding or fire for example. If this happens, simply reload your last manual or auto save, the trophy won't be affected.

Poco Chinpoko

You collected 5 Chinpokomon.

See 'Chinpokolypse' below for more details.

Chinpoko Loco

You collected 15 Chinpokomon.

See 'Chinpokolypse' below for more details.

Chinpokolypse

You collected all of the Chinpokomon

MISSABLE

Below is a complete list of the Chinpokomon and where to find them. If you're worried about missing anything whilst playing through the story, I would advise using my missable collectible/trophy step-by-step guide. You can find that HERE.

The problem with missing a Chinpokomon, is not that you will lock this trophy out, but you'll also lock out 'More Popular Than John Lennon'. The reason for this is, when you have collected all 30, you'll get a friend request from Chinpokomon Toy Corporation. There are six missable chinpokomon.

Chu-Chu Nezumi - In the tree left of butters' house, you need to shoot it down.
Furrycat - Left of Kyle's house, you'll see a pile of logs next to a bush. Hit them and the Furrycat is behind them, just in sight.
Lambtron - During the side quest 'Mongolian beef'. It's in a cage on the far right of the first floor of the Tower of Peace. Shoot it down.
Monkay - In Butter's room. On the right-hand side in front of the shelves.
Penguin - In Cartman's garage, the key for which, is in the drawer just as you enter his house.
Shoe - Missable. During the quest 'Beat Up Clyde' only. When you are with Ike on the exterior of the tower, if you look up you'll see an anal probe point. Use it and you'll see it just sat there.
Accountafish - In South Park Gazette, the key for which is in the Post Office, in one of the PO boxes. Once in, look for the vent next to where the girl is sat. You'll need gnome shrink ability to reach it.
Vamporko - To the right of the community centre, there is a basketball court. It's in there. You'll need anal probe ability to reach it.
Fetuswami - Missable. During the quest 'Unplanned Parenthood' only. When you reach the turret, shoot the grenade in the soldier's hand, shrink down and enter the wall. Head all the way left, exit the wall again, you'll be just past the red target area and see it on the floor.
Gerbitoad - Outside Mr. Hankey's house in the sewers.
Gunrilla - Missable. During the quest 'PTA Problems' only. It's in the room where the tape recorder is. There is a cabinet on the left, it's on top of that. You may need to walk up screen a bit to see it. Shoot it down.
Gophermon - In the community centre's men's toilets. It's in the last stall.
Sna-kat - In a tree, just left of city hall, above Priest Maxi. Shoot it down.
Mouse-tik - After recruiting the girls, you'll have the freedom to walk around their hideout. It's stood in front of the chest on the left.
Poodlesaurus Rex - It's in a vent in the ceiling of the hallway in the school. You'll need anal probe ability to reach it.
Roo-stor - In Butters' Chaos lair, which is lock-up 223 at U-Stor-It. Go up the ladder at the back, you'll see it sat on the vent at the top of the screen. Shoot it down.
Donkeytron - This one is in the school kitchen, in the oven. Turn the stove on and use a fart to release it.
Stegmata - In Kyle's garage, the key for which is in his parent's room. You can only enter Kyle's house once he summons you during the second day.
Fatdactyl - Hanging in the entrance to the Bijou Theatre, just behind the box office. You'll need to shoot it down.
Ferasnarf - In Mackey's lock-up at U-Stor-It, he'll give you the key and ask you to store something for him, after the PTA meeting.
Pterdaken - Missable. During the quest 'Attack the School' only. After defeating Stan/Butters, head upstairs, defeat the guys beating Tweek up. Now, look for Token, it's in a locker on his right. Shoot it down.
Biebersaurus - This is in the sewer near the crab people. Go down the manhole near the Bijou Theatre. There will be a boulder that can only be destroyed with a Nagasaki fart. Once it's dealt with, walk towards the crab person, and you should collect it. It's behind a pillar, so you can't see it.
Brocorri - Head to Restaurant Row, to a place called Tower of Peace. You'll see it outside encased in ice, sat next to a lantern. Fart on the flame to defrost it.
Velocirapstar - When you are stood outside Token's house, you'll see it in the window on the left. Shoot it down.
Flowerpotamus - Inside Skeeter's bar, it's on a shelf on the back wall, right of the beer sign. Shoot it down.
Beetlebot - Missable. During the quest 'Alien Abduction' only. After freeing randy, you will use the white crystal to activate the elevator left of the probing room. Once in the new area, head right, look to the monitors, you'll see it amongst them. Shoot it down.
Cosmonewt - At stark's pond. Just left of the sign, you'll see an anal probe point in the water. Use it and you'll go to an underwater UFO. It's in there.
RabbiTech - In the upstairs evidence room in the police station, it's the room on the far right. You'll see it on the shelf, climb the ladder to reach it.
Roidrat - Missable. During the quest 'The Bard' only. In Jimmy's attic. Just after you destroy the barrier, it's sat in the middle of the room. Hard to miss.
Terribovine - Under the bench outside Tweek Bros. Coffee shop. You'll need the gnome shrink ability to reach it.

Daddy Issues

You befriended your father.

Your dad is a bit of an arse. He won't let you be his friend on Facebook, until you have 50 other friends. Once you do have 50 other friends go and see him in your house. He'll become your friend, and you'll receive this trophy.

More Popular Than Jesus

You made friends with half of South Park.

See 'More Popular Than John Lennon' below for more details. You'll unlock this trophy after 60 friends.

More Popular Than John Lennon

Everyone in South Park is your friend.

MISSABLE

There are actually only nine friends that are missable. If you're worried about missing anything whilst playing through the story, I would advise using my missable collectible/trophy step-by-step guide. You can find that HERE. To make sure that each friend registers, I would advise you to confirm each one as you get it. You do this by simply pressing select when you receive a friend request.

There is another way that you can miss this trophy, that is if you miss any of the Chinpokomon. The reason for this is that the 'Chinpokomon Toy Corporation' will become one of your friends, once you have collected all thirty.

There are two ways to make friends, through doing certain quests for people or by simply talking to them. There is a total of 121 friends throughout the game. You will probably find the majority of them by yourself. For any remaining ones you may need, please see the list below. I have made the list in the order that I found them playing through the game. The reason for this is the game has no set order itself, so you can't keep track of which friends you already have. For that reason, I would advise you to keep your own list.

Butters - Story related
Clyde - Missable. Talk to him once you enter Kupa Keep for the first time. Make sure to definitely confirm this request by pressing select, the reason for this is that he un-friends permanently you once you talk to Cartman.
Scott Malkinson - In Kupa Keep.
Kenny - As above. ^^^.
Mrs. Cartman - She is in the kitchen of the Cartman house.
Dougie - Outside Butters' house.
Mrs. Stotch - In Butters' living room.
Mr. Stotch - As above. ^^^.
Kelly Gardner - She is stood outside the orange house left of Jimmy's house.
Pete - In Clyde's garage. When you open it, you'll see a flashing lever, shoot it and climb the ladder.
Officer Barbrady - He's stood outside of Tom's Rhinoplasty.
Millie - Next to Unplanned Parenthood. To reach her you need to go round the pink building next door. Hit the snow pile next to Photo Dojo, and walk round.
Al Gore - He's hidden, not very well I might add. He's behind a bush to the right of Bijou Theatre.
Mrs. Biggle - Outside the Post Office sat on a bench.
Esther - In South Park Gazette, the key for which is in one of the lock boxes in the Post Office.
Annie - She's outside the town hall being bullied. Defeat the bullies and she'll befriend you.
Romper Stomper - In the holding cells in the police station. The key is upstairs in the locker room to the left.
Jesus - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Find Jesus'. This is activated by talking to Priest Maxi, he's outside the town hall.
Priest Maxi - As above. ^^^.
Token - Story Related
Mr. Broflovski - Outside Kyle's house, shovelling snow.
Francis - Just right of Kyle's house. You have to slay the frost giant (snowman), then he'll become your friend.
Tweek - Story related.
Craig - Story related.
Randy - Story related.
Mom - In your house.
Kelly Rutherford - She sat on the bench left of the iconic bus stop. She won't be your friend straight away, as far as I'm aware you need 20 friends first.
Mr. McCormick - To the left of Skeeter's bar.
Skeeter - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Rats in the Cellar'. This activated by talking to Skeeter, he's in Skeeter's bar.
Bartender - As above. ^^^.
Jason - In Kyle's backyard. He's the shop keeper.
Stan - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'The She-Ogre'. This activated by talking to Stan, he's in Kyle's backyard.
Mr. Slave - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Mr. Slave's Package'. This activated by talking to Mr. Slave, he's in his house.
Timmy - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'The Timmy Express'. This activated automatically early in the game.
Mr. Garrison - He's in the community centre. You can befriend him after finishing the quest 'PTA problems'.
Mr. Adler - As above. ^^^
Principal Victoria - As above. ^^^
Mrs. Broflovski - As above. ^^^
Firkle - Story related.
Henrietta - Story related.
Pete - Story related.
Michael - Story related.
Cartman - Story related.
Bill - Missable. You'll only find him during the quest 'Attack the School'. After you beat Stan/Butters, head upstairs, fight the next three enemies, and carry on left. You see him in a fight, help him out and he'll befriend you.
Fosse - Missable. As above. ^^^
Lemmiwinks - Missable. You'll only find him during the quest 'Attack the School'. In the fifth grade classroom. He's a rat by the way.
Bradley - Hiding in a bush next to Stan's house. You need the gnome shrink ability to fit under the hedge.
Karen - In Kenny's house, on the sofa.
Mrs. McCormick - In Kenny's house, in the kitchen.
Kevin Stoley - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Vulcan Around'. This activated by talking to Kevin Stoley, he's in his house.
Underpants Gnome - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Phase 1'. This activated by talking to Underpants Gnome, he's in your room after night two.
Dad - He's in your house, but he won't become your friend until you have 50 other friends.
Kyle - Story related.
Chris Donnely - He's in Kyle's backyard. You can only befriend him once the factions join forces.
Douglas - In between Planned Parenthood and Photo Dojo is a pink building. You will notice the top right window sparkles, hit it with a ranged attack and it will reveal an anal probe point. Beam up there and it will reveal Douglas behind the other window.
Amber - You will befriend her as part of the 'Dropping the Kids Off' side quest. This is activated by talking to Mr. Hankey, he is in his house, in the sewers.
Cornwallis - As above. ^^^
Simon - As above. ^^^
Mr. Hankey - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Dropping the Kids Off'. This activated by talking to Mr. Hankey, he's in his house, in the sewers.
Mrs. Hankey - As above. ^^^
General Disarry - In Butters' Chaos lair. Which is lock-up 223 at U-Stor-It.
Lola - She's in the Post Office. She won't be your friend straight away, as far as I'm aware you need 40 friends first.
Leroy Mullins - On the roof of the South Park Gazette. You need to shrink yourself, and crawl through the vent inside. From inside the vent, go through the next gap on the right and up the smoke stack on to the roof.
Mr. Mackey - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Wasted Cache'. This activated by talking to Mr. Mackey, he's in the community centre.
DogPoo - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Restoring the Balance'. This activated by talking to DogPoo, he's in Kyle's Backyard.
Mr. Kim - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Mongolian Beef'. This activated by talking to Mr. Kim, he's in City Wok.
Sally - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Hide 'n' Seek'. This activated by talking to the kindergarten kid on the kid's playground.
Billy - As above. ^^^
Jenny - As above. ^^^
Quaid - As above. ^^^
Flora - As above. ^^^
Filmore - As above. ^^^
Monica - Story related.
Jesse Rodriguez - Story related.
Sergeant Yates - Missable. Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Nazi Zombie Bounty'. This activated by talking to Sergeant Yates, he's in the police station. The reason he is missable is that you can only do this quest, during the zombie invasion. If you finish the story, the zombies will disappear, locking this quest out.
Mayor McDaniels - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'The Homeless Problem'. This activated by talking to Mayor McDaniels, she's in the town hall.
Jimmy - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Magical Songs'. This activated by talking to Jimmy, he's in Kyle's backyard.
Earl of Winnipeg - Story related.
Bishop of Banff - Missable. You get tasked with killing the Bishop of Banff by the Prince of Canada. Once you have fought and beaten him, don't kill him, take the pig's testicles. It will make sense when you're playing, trust me.
Prince of Canada - Story related.
Duke of Vancouver - Story related.
Terrance - Story Related.
Phillip - Story related.
Princess of Canada - Story related.
Minister of Montreal - Story related.
Jimbo - Will befriend you after you complete the side quest 'Big Game Huntin' with Jimbo'. This activated by talking to Jimbo, he's in Jimbo's Guns.
Ned - As above. ^^^
Red - Story related.
Bebe - Story related.
Wendy - Story related.
Nelly - After you have recruited the girls, you have full access to their hideout. You can befriend her then, she's in the hideout A.K.A. girl's toilets.
Jessie - As above. ^^^
Heidi - As above. ^^^
Allie Nelson - As above. ^^^
Ike - Missable. You'll only find him during the quest 'Beat Up Clyde'. Once you're on the outside of Clyde's tower, near the top. Ike's firework will miss fire, light it with a fart for him, and he'll befriend you.
Mr. Hat - Story related.
Big Gay Al - Missable. You'll only find him during the quest 'Beat Up Clyde'. You'll enter Mr. Slave, during the quest, and at some point you'll encounter his iPhone. It will start ringing, simply answer it.
Frog King - Story related.
Catatafish - Story related.
Sparrow Prince - Story related.
Crab Person - Near the end of the sewer you'll see him beating his drum. You'll need to destroy the boulder using Nagasaki fart to reach him.
Chinpokomon Toy Corporation - Missable. Happens automatically once you have found all thirty Chinpokomon.
Beary - Enter the Lost Forest. Head right, up, right, down and right. You'll come to a new area, all the Christmas Critters will be there. They'll ask you to accept their god, do so and they'll all befriend you.
Rabbity - As above. ^^^
Skunky - As above. ^^^
Beavery - As above. ^^^
Mousey - As above. ^^^
Squirrely - As above. ^^^
Deery - As above. ^^^
Woodpeckery - As above. ^^^
Porcupiney - As above. ^^^
Foxy - As above. ^^^
Chickadee-y - As above. ^^^
Racoony - As above. ^^^
Damien - On the back row of the Bijou Theatre.
Santa - On the roof of the police station. Use the fire escape and the anal probe point on the left-hand side of the building to get up there.
Mr. Tweak - Buy a Speed Ultra Potion from Tweek Bros. Coffee.
Mrs. Tweak - As above. ^^^
Mrs. Marsh - Buy an accessory from Tom's Rhinoplasty.
Polly Prissypants - In Cartman's bedroom, on his bed. She is only there when Cartman is your active buddy.
Shelly Marsh - She is in her room in Stan's house. She'll only befriend you after you complete the side quest 'The She-Ogre'.

Junk Peddler

You sold 300 junk items.

Do this post game, after getting the 'For the Hoarder' trophy.

Go to any merchant, choose the sell tab, go down to junk and sell all that you have. It has no other use anyway, hence, it being called junk. If you have been collecting all the junk throughout the game, you'll have more than enough. If for some weird reason you don't have enough junk, you can always head to the Lost Forest, fight some dogs, then search their bodies.

Stick Savior

You defeated Princess Kenny and recovered the Stick of Truth.

Secret Trophy

Story related and can't be missed.

You'll get this at the end of the last story quest 'Betrayal From Within', after defeating Princess Kenny, many times. The trophy will unlock during the final cutscene.

Ass of Fire

You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass.

Once you have Cartman as a buddy, about halfway through the story, make sure you have him selected. You should be using him anyway, he's hilarious. The attack that this trophy pertains to is 'Brown Cloud', all you need to do is defeat 20 enemies using it. It won't take you long, it's really powerful, especially if the enemies are on fire from a previous attack. You'll probably use this as your main attack for the rest of the game, I did.

Canadian Handshake

You've farted on people 100 times.

Farting on 100 people may even come naturally. Farting on any human counts, you could even farm it on one person, if you wish.

Animal Cruelty

You've farted on animals 25 times.

Any animal you see around town, fart on it. There are quite a few around. As with the 'Canadian Handshake', you can farm this using one animal.

Pulling Mud

In three separate battles, you've taken a shit in your pants.

For this trophy, you'll be doing the exact same thing as you did for 'Irritable Bowels', so you can see that trophy for more detail, on exactly what needs to be done. The only difference, is for this trophy you don't need to do it during a boss battle, any will do.

You will already have one done for 'Irritable Bowels', so two more will do it,

Shopaholic

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

See 'Clothes Whore' below for more details.

Clothes Whore

You've collected all of the available costumes.

Too Far

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

Secret Trophy

MISSABLE

This trophy can only be unlocked during the quest 'Unplanned Parenthood'.

Once you've given Randy an abortion, exit the room. Nazi Zombie fetuses will attack, they'll be on top of the soldiers, eating them. Hit one to initiate a fight, and defeat it. Now to do the worst thing you'll probably do in your life, fart on its corpse. The trophy will unlock soon after.

Friends in Strange Places

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

To unlock this trophy you need to befriend Crab Person, and Underpants Gnome.

Firstly, Underpants Gnome. He'll be in your room once you awaken from your second nights sleep, shortly after completing the quest 'Defeat the Underpants Gnomes'. Talk to him, he'll start the quest 'Phase 1'. You need to complete this for him before he'll become your friend. All you need to do is find five pairs of underpants, you'll may already have a couple, if not all of them. They are in Cartman's mum's room, Kevin Stoley's room, Stan's room, Stan's parent's room and Kyle's room. Once you have them all return to him for an instant friend request.

Now for the Crab Person. You'll need the Nagasaki fart. He is located in the sewer, go down the manhole outside the Bijou Theatre. Head left and destroy the boulder that is blocking the path to him using Nagasaki fart. Now just talk to him. The trophy should unlock once they are both your friends.

Weapon Proficiency

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

I am pretty confident in saying that you will unlock this trophy through natural play. You'll be getting perfect hits without thinking about it after a few fights.

Whichever attack you choose to use, light (X), heavy (square) or magic (triangle), you will get a chance to score a perfect attack. Once you initiate your attack by pressing X, you'll move towards your selected enemy and your weapon will flash. This is the sweet point, you'll want to hit your preferred attack at this point. You'll know if you got it right as it will say 'perfect' in the top left corner. You want to be doing these attacks all the time anyway, as they inflict more damage than a normal attack.

Skilled Defender

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

As with 'Weapon Proficiency', I'm pretty confident in saying that you'll get this through normal play. I actually got this before 'Weapon Proficiency'.

The blocking system is very simple in this game, when an enemy goes to attack you a silver disc like entity will appear under your character, that's when you want to hit X to block the attack. It might take you a few fights to get the timing down. You'll know when you've been successful because you won't receive much damage.

You Bastards!

You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game.

Definitely a trophy that you will want to attempt after you have finished the story and unlocked 'No Child Left Behind'. This was actually the last trophy I unlocked. The main reason you'll want to do this post game is that when Kenny gets knocked down, he'll get dragged away by rats missing a turn. The fight could easily finish in that time.

Do this trophy by fighting the dogs in the Lost Forest. The easiest way to kill Kenny is by using his 'Furry Friends' power. Use it but don't do anything and the rats will kill Kenny instantly. Simply do this ten more times. I would advise leaving the forest after a few kills so that the game saves. This is because if you die by accident you'll go back to the last checkpoint and have to get all your kills again, as it doesn't ever save in the Lost Forest.

Mastery

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

MISSABLE

To earn an upgrade you need to level your character up. There is a max level of 15, so mathematically this trophy is missable. More than you will get it with out thinking about it though. If you were to upgrade every ability to level IV, then you would use all your points up and not be able to upgrade an ability to level V, which is what is needed for this trophy.

Make it Rain!

You've spent $500.

I would imagine that you will get this trophy post game, like I did. I sold all of my junk, and was moving between merchants buying up all the equipment I needed for the 'Full Arsenal'. I still had $332.29 left after getting the trophy, so you should have more than enough money to unlock this trophy. If not sell some equipment/weapons that you don't use to raise some money.

Full Arsenal

You own all the weapons and costumes available in the game.

MISSABLE

If you're worried about missing anything whilst playing through the story, I would advise using my missable collectible/trophy step-by-step guide. You can find that HERE. There are quite a few missable costume pieces and weapons. For a full list of the items required for this trophy, as well their locations, see below. The items are in the same order as they are in the game.

A quick note: You don't need to own all items at the same time, you can sell them. Just as long as you have owned them at some point, and it has registered in the collectible section of the menu, you'll be fine. There are 103 equipment sets on the menu, but most of the costume sets have three individual items. So there are actually 153 to look out for, 87 pieces of clothing and 66 weapons.

Clothes

Crown of Anal Pleasure - Story related.
Barbarian Helmet - In the Duke of Vancouver's office. If you look to the top left, you'll see a destructible wall, it's in a chest behind that.
Barbarian Armour - In Canada, in a chest, in the same room where you eventually find the Minister of Montreal.
Barbarian Gloves - You automatically get these once you defeat the Canadian Barking Spider, as part of the 'Big Game Huntin' with Jimbo' side quest. The spider is located in the web, in the top right of the Canadian map.
Minstrel's Cap - Purchase it from the merchant in Kyle's Backyard.
Minstrel's Uniform - As above. ^^^
Minstrel's Gloves - As above. ^^^
Wife Beater - In Kenny's garage, where you fight the Meth Tweekers.
Leather Hat - Purchase it from the merchant in the girls' hideout.
Leather Armour - As above. ^^^
Leather Gloves - As above. ^^^
Bling - In the evidence room in the police station, which is upstairs. To move the ladder to the right, press the red button in the middle of the room.
Training Gloves - Purchase it from the merchant outside of U-Stor-It.
Cheese Helmet - Purchase it from Mr. Mackay, in the community centre.
Cheese Torso - As above. ^^^
Cheese Gloves - As above. ^^^
Condom Cap - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Beat Up Clyde'. Whilst inside Mr. Slave, you'll have to scare away a bat with a torch. This item is in the chest that is revealed after doing that.
Crab Helmet - In a chest behind the crab person, in the sewer. You'll need the Nagasaki fart to reach it.
Crab Carapace - As above. ^^^
Crab Pincers - As above. ^^^
Surgical Cap - Story related.
Surgical Scrubs - Story related.
Surgical Gloves - Story related.
Druid Crown - In Clyde's garage, open it up, shoot the flashing lever and climb the ladder.
Druid Robes - In Stan's garage, shoot the flashing lever to drop the ladder, then ascend it.
Druid Gloves - In Butters' garage, the key for which is his parent's bedroom.
Du Rag - Purchase it from the merchant outside of U-Stor-It.
Wood Elf Cap - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'The Bard'. Once you have defeated Jimmy, check the chest to the right.
Wood Elf Armour - Story related.
Wood Elf Gloves - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'The Bard'. You have to loot it from one of the elves you fight in Jimmy's attic.
Friar Cap - In Token's garage, it's up the ladder.
Friar Robes - In the back room of Tweek Bros. Coffee. It's in the chest at the back of the room, up the ladder. Tweek will give you the key when you return with his delivery.
Friar Gloves - As above. ^^^
Gnome Helmet - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Defeat the Underpants Gnomes'. Enter the cavity wall, by going through the mouse hole in your room. Walk past the mouse trap and climb the wire, it's in a bag at the top.
Gnome Clothes - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Defeat the Underpants Gnomes'. Inside the cavity wall, you'll fight a rat and watch a cutscene. Carry on left after this, up the wire, and break the wall on the left. It's in a bag, just past the fuses.
Gnome Gloves - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Defeat the Underpants Gnomes'. Loot this from one of the gnomes that you defeat in your bedroom.
Goth Cap - Purchase it from the merchant outside of U-Stor-It.
Goth Clothes - As above. ^^^
Goth Gloves - As above. ^^^
Sweaty Headband - Purchase it from the merchant outside of U-Stor-It.
Clyde's Helmet - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Gas Mask - Purchase it from Jimbo's Guns.
Jester's Cap - Missable. This item is in Jimmy's garage. The key for it is in Jimmy's house, upstairs in the drawer in the hallway. Jimmy's house will be locked out once you finish the story.
Khan Helmet - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Khan Armour - As above. ^^^
Khan Gauntlets - As above. ^^^
Knight Helmet - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Beat Up Clyde'. To the right of Ike, there is an enemy if front of a chest, bring the roof down on him and collect this item from the chest.
Knight Armour - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Beat Up Clyde'. After beating Clyde, look for a chest on the left of the upper area.
Knight Gauntlets - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Beat Up Clyde'. In the first area of the fortress, enemies will be firing fireworks at you. Loot the gauntlets from one of these enemies, after you defeat them.
KKK Helmet - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
KKK Armour - As above. ^^^
KKK Gloves - As above. ^^^
Monk Cap - Purchase it from the merchant in Kyle's Backyard.
Monk Robes - As above. ^^^
Monk Gloves - As above. ^^^
Necromancer Hood - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Attack the School'. After defeating Stan/Butters, head upstairs and defeat the guys beating Tweek. Loot it of one of their bodies.
Necromancer Robes - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Attack the School'. In the second room of the basement, loot it from the ginger Nazi zombies you must defeat.
Necromancer Gloves - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Attack the School'. Once you've destroyed the first barrier, the one that said 'Humans Keep Out' on it, loot the elves that were on the other side.
Bishop Mitre - Purchase it from the merchant in Banff, Canada.
Bishop Vestments - As above. ^^^
Bishop Gloves - As above. ^^^
Woodsman Cap - Purchase it from the merchant in Kyle's Backyard.
Woodsman Armour - As above. ^^^
Woodsman Gloves - As above. ^^^
Alien Helmet - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Alien Abduction'. Once you escape the force-field, after the anal probing has finished. It's in the crate behind Randy.
Alien Suit - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Alien Abduction'. Once you use the elevator for the first time, it's just to your left.
Alien Gloves - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Alien Abduction'. Loot these from one of the aliens that you fight in the control room, where the chief security officer is.
Fairy Princess Tiara - Purchase it from the merchant in the girls' hideout.
Fairy Princess Robes - As above. ^^^
Fairy Princess Mittens - As above. ^^^
Squire Helmet - Go to Butters' Chaos Lair (lock-up 223 at U-Stor-It). Once inside, go up the ladder in the background, into the vent and up the next ladder. You'll be on the roof now, use the your anal probe to reach the chest below you, to the right. It's in there.
Squire Armour - You'll need the anal probe to reach this one. It's on Token's roof, hidden in the chimney.
Squire Gloves - This one is on top of Tom's Rhinoplasty. To reach it, you need to anal probe onto the bank next door, then once again onto Tom's Rhinoplasty.
Stupid Spoiled Whore Hat - Purchase it from the merchant in the girls' hideout.
Stupid Spoiled Whore Clothes - As above. ^^^
Stupid Spoiled Whore Gloves - As above. ^^^
SWAT Armoured Headgear - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'PTA Problems'. When you've entered the government facility, fight the Nazi zombie. Once you've done that, loot the soldier's bodies, one will be carrying this item.
SWAT Vest - Missable. As above. ^^^
SWAT Tactical Gloves - Missable. As above. ^^^
Tinfoil Hat - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Alien Abduction'. Once you've disabled the security on the alien ship, head back to the probing room, but don't go in. Go down the ladder that appears in front of the door, head right and fight the bum that appears when you hit the rubbish. Loot his body for the hat.
Underpants 'Helmet' - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Defeat the Underpants Gnomes'. You'll fight some gnomes, whilst you're on your parent's dresser. The "helmet" can be looted from one of their bodies.
Valkyrie Headband - Once you have recruited the girls as part of the main story, you'll have full access to their hideout. This item is in the chest on the left-hand side of the hideout.
Valkyrie Armour - As above. ^^^
Valkyrie Gloves - As above. ^^^
Witch Hat - You will need the gnome shrink ability to reach this one. It's underneath the bench outside of Tweek Bros. Coffee.
Witch Robes - You'll need gnome shrink ability to reach this one. If you keep heading left from South Park Elementary, you'll see a hollowed-out log, shrink down, it's in there.
Witch Gloves - You will need the gnome shrinking ability to reach this one. There is a small hole in the fence just left of Jimmy's house, it's behind there in a chest.

Weapons

Sword of Endings - Purchase it from the merchant in Kyle's Backyard.
Archmage's Wand - Purchase it from the merchant in Vancouver, Canada.
Axe of Stopping - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Axe of the Underworld - Once you finish the side quest 'Big Game Huntin' with Jimbo', Jimbo will give you a key. It's for the chest above his head, which has the axe in it. To get up there use the anal probe point to the right.
Billy Club - Story related.
Stone Hammer - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'PTA Problems'. Once you've got past the guards at 'Taco Bell', you'll see another guard near a puddle, get rid of him. You'll see a chest on the roof of the building, use the anal probe to get up there. The hammer is in there.
Canadian Halberd - Purchase it from the merchant in Ottawa, Canada.
Claymore of the Warrior - Purchase it from the merchant in Ottawa, Canada.
Crutch of Weakness - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'The Bard'. Once you have defeated Jimmy, loot this from his body.
Elf Blade - Purchase it from the merchant in Kyle's Backyard.
Kris Dagger - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Fatbeard's Blade - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Fire Sword - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Flamberge Rapier - Purchase it from the merchant in Winnipeg, Canada.
Gnome Pickaxe - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Defeat the Underpants Gnomes'. Whilst inside the cavity wall, you'll fight three rats. Carry on heading right after this and it will be in the bag you come across.
Staff of Winter - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Sweet Katana - Purchase it from the Jimbo's Guns.
Lightning Wand - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Longsword - Purchase it from the Jimbo's Guns.
Mace of Restoration - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Detention Sentence'. Once you've beaten the hall monitor boss, check his body for a locker key. The locker it opens is to the left, the mace is in there.
ManBearPig Claw - During Al Gore's side quests, at some point you'll fight ManBearPig. Once he's defeated, loot his body for this.
Master Razor - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Unplanned Parenthood'. When escaping from 'Taco Bell security', you'll enter a mouse hole and be under the floor boards. Fight the rats, then the gnomes. The razor will be in a bag under where the gnomes were stood.
ManBearPig Club - In Al Gore's secret room in his U-Stor-It unit. You'll get the key for the room once complete all quests for him.
Holy Mossad Knife - Purchase it from the merchant in Banff, Canada.
Kenny's Bloody Club - On Kenny's garage. When in the garage look to the top left corner, you'll see the rubble twinkling, shoot it. Now climb the makeshift ladder, it's in the chest.
Noob Hammer - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Alien Probe - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Alien Abduction'. Once you've disabled the security on the alien ship, head back to the probing room, but don't go in. The probe is in a chest to the left.
Raider's Blade - Purchase it from the merchant in Kyle's Backyard.
Rod of Major Boobage - Purchase it from Mr. Mackay, in the community centre.
Rod of Waste - This is in a chest in the sewers, you will see it in the background, when stood at the generator. You will come across it whilst doing the 'Dropping the Kids Off' side quest for Mr. Hankey.
Knead-ring, the Dough Hammer - Purchase it from the merchant in the girls' hideout.
Holy Hammer of Smiting - Story related.
Serrated Axe of Rending - In the Duke of Vancouver's office. If you look to the top left, you'll see a destructible wall, it's in a chest behind that.
Dire Scepter - Purchase it from the merchant in Banff, Canada.
Warrior's Scimitar - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Sickle Sword - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Fairy Princess Blade - Purchase it from the merchant in the girls' hideout.
Magic Wand - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Rogue's Dagger - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Jewish Staff - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Warrior's Blade - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Vibroblade - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Beat Up Clyde'. When you're inside Mr. Slave, you'll eventually walk past his iPhone and get attacked by a Nazi bacteria. Loot this item from the bacteria after defeating it.
Club of Smiting - Purchase it from the merchant at Kupa Keep.
Alien Ray Gun - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Alien Abduction'. Loot this from one of the first three aliens you fight after leaving the probing room.
Bar Darts - You receive these once you finish the side quest 'Rats in the Cellar'. To initiate the quest talk to Skeeter, he's in his bar.
Basketball - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Attack the School'. Once you leave the kitchen, you'll be in the dining room, where Tweek is. Head right, it's on the downed elf in the corner.
Batdadarang - Purchase it from Mr. Mackay, in the community centre.
Battle Bow - Purchase it from the merchant in Kyle's Backyard.
Super Bouncy Ball! - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Defeat the Underpants Gnomes'. Enter the cavity wall, by going through the mouse hole in your room. Walk past the mouse trap and climb the wire, it's in a bag at the top.
Broken Bottle - This is in the sewers. You will fight some hobos, whilst trying to rescue Cornwallis as part of the 'Dropping the Kids Off' side quest. Loot it from one of their bodies.
Chakram - Purchase it from the merchant in the girls' hideout.
Crossbow of Impalement - Purchase it from the Jimbo's Guns.
Dodgeball - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Detention Sentence'. It's on one of the ginger kids, the same one that has the brass key.
Grenade of Slowing - Once you finish the side quest "Big Game Huntin' with Jimbo', Jimbo will give you a key. It's for the chest above his head, which has the axe in it. To get up there use the anal probe point to the right.
Elvish Longbow - Purchase it from the merchant in Kyle's Backyard.
Elvish Shortbow - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'The Bard'. You have to loot it from one of the three elves that is blocking your escape from Jimmy's basement.
Lawn Dart - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Beat Up Clyde'. Once you have dropped the drawbridge and entered Clyde's lair, you'll find it in a chest on the right as you enter.
Longbow - Purchase it from the merchant in Kyle's Backyard.
Mongorian Bow - Automatically obtained during the side quest 'Mongolian Beef'. You initiate this quest by talking to Mr. Kim in City Wok.
Poison Grenade - Missable. Can only be collected during the quest 'Unplanned Parenthood'. When you're in Unplanned Parenthood, you'll go through the main door into a corridor, the grenades are in the second set of drawers you come across.
Recurve Bow - Purchase it from the merchant in Kyle's Backyard.
Discus of Bleeding - This is in Canada, in the same building where fight/fought the Bishop of Banff. You'll see a chest to the right, it's behind a locked door. Go to the room opposite, on the left, break the vase in the top right and stand on the pressure pad. This will unlock the aforementioned door. The discus is in the chest.
Missile of Slowing - You will obtain this automatically after completing the side quest 'Vulcan Around'. This is initiated by talking to Kevin Stoley, who is in his bedroom.
Fairy Princess Bow - Purchase it from the merchant in the girls' hideout.
Bow of Sucking - Story related.
Wooden Crossbow - Purchase it from the Jimbo's Guns.